Waking Up with Heavy Feeling

Sometimes I wonder why we human beings have this feeling of longing for someone to be with us always, for someone whom we can share our thoughts, someone close who we can hug and cry on whenever we feel we are too tired and exhausted by this world.

I wonder, every now and then, especially yesterday morning when I wake up feeling this intense longing for [guess who] her. I missed her very much. I feel like an empty shell the while day yesterday and today and maybe tomorrow. The feeling is terrible enough to spoil my long weekend.

Why do I have to feel this way? Why do I need her to fill my life when I grew up without knowing her or needing her? I know the theories, that this feeling of longing is embedded in our mind for the sake of survival (so to ensure that early human beings will mate and procreate) and cultivated by culture into love, affection, attraction or anything close to that. Damn theories! Damn survival instincts. Damn life!

But then again, I am glad to have met her. I am glad but I still miss her.

OK now maybe I should stop rambling about my miserable love life. Oh how I wish to hug her to today. How I wish to look her into her eyes. How I wish…

Ahh…bahala na!